I enjoy it tremendously when someone tries to use cultural references to make themselves sound worldly. The other day a recruiter called me up, and they very obviously had a thick east side NYC accent – but were attempting to sound like they were from the U.K. – it came off sort of a ferral Aussie accent with a bit of flem in the back of the throat. (I kid you not!)
They then proceeded to continue to ask me for my CV, which, for those who are not aware is a European term for a resume. Now, many may know that’s a term for a resume over in EU, Asia and so on – but what many don’t know is that it for many years was for a specific type of resume usually reserved for Doctors, Scientists and members of Academia. It’s become a bit bastardized over the years, so it’s not uncommon for people to use the term, but it’s far more common for them to ask for a Resume. This particular gentleman did not know that – and realizing the man was a complete poser, and not the sort of gent I wanted to be represented by anyway, I decided to have some fun with him our exchange went something like this:
Mr. Poser: And as soon as you get me yor CV we can get right on this, right right?
(Yes he actually said "Right, Right", like out of Clockwork Orange.)
Me: My what?
Mr. Poser: Your CV. Your work history… oh that’s right I’m forgettin me manners totally, over there you call them a Resume.
(The only thing missing from this sentence was the word "Guv’nah" – just try to imagine it with a touch of the Bronx – I was really beginning to think someone was crank calling me at this point.)
Me: Oh – you mean my Curriculum Vitae?
Mr. Poser: Your what?
Me: Curriculum Vitae, that’s what the CV stands for – it’s latin. It means "Life History"… it’s a loose translation but you get the idea.
Mr. Poser: (loses accent for a minute) Oh wow, did not know that.
Me: Yes, usually its something used for Academia.
Mr. Poser: For what?
Me: Academia, Doctors, Scientists … (decided to start toying back at this point) and of course Bishops, Cardinals, and Members of the Clergy.
Mr. Poser: Go on – your joking.
Me: No, actually that’s why they use the term – is for clergy, well not all of them – just people who speak latin in their jobs … like, you know, Doctors, Scientists, Priests, sometimes Lawyers but that’s not so common anymore.
Mr. Poser: Well I’ll need to be more exclusive in who I use that term with in the future.
Me: Probably not a bad idea. You may want to drop the bad accent too. You’re not good at it.
That was about as mean as I got – as I came up with an excuse to get off the phone and made a note to never use the company he represented. You have to keep in mind … If you’re going to put on an act for me (and a bad act at that) then I have to fear that you’re going to try to pull that same nonsense with whoever you’re representing me to.
You’re not just embarrassing yourself – you’re embarrassing me. I also have to wonder what all else you’re hiding or lying about. You ruin trust, and cause people to wonder what sort of company they are dealing with. Just my 2 cents for the day.